February 2009
42 posts
“Is that why Locke was so desperate to stay on the Island, because he’d never loved anyone?, non-sequiturs Kate bitchily. Wrong-o, Locke says — what about Helen? Which, okay, ended because he was “angry, obsessed.” Look how far you’ve come!, Kate snarks, because Kate is Miss Perfect and has not, say, burned her stepfather alive.”
—Emily Nussbaum and Jeff Jensen are honestly making Thursday mornings my favorite time of the week. I’m such a LOST nerd.
“I realized with growing excitement that my game is exactly like Shane Battier’s. Morey, Battier’s own GM, describes Battier as “a marginal NBA athlete.” Hey, I’m a marginal athlete. Morey notes that Battier can’t create his own shot. I can’t create my own shot! Morey says Battier “can’t dribble, he’s slow and hasn’t got much body control.” Check, check, and check!”
—I’m a day late on this, but Dan Kois’ discussion of Michael Lewis’ Shane Battier NY Times mag article sums up everyone I’ve ever played basketball with, ever. Including me, of course. Especially me.
Inspired by this post — and my Sunday morning need to write something anyway — I thought I might play the iTunes game too. So:
Number of Songs: 5,342
Number of Albums: 571
Most Recently Played Song: “The Funeral,” Band Of Horses
Most Played Song: “Nebraska,” Bruce Springsteen
Most Recently Added Album: Fear Of A Black Planet, Public Enemy
First Song Alphabetically: “A-Punk,” Vampire Weekend
Last Song Alphabetically: “Zoo Station,” U2
Smallest Song Numerically: “1/2 Full,” Pearl Jam
Largest Song Numerically: “1,000,000,” R.E.M.
Shortest Song: “Good Intentions,” My Morning Jacket
Longest Song: “45:33,” LCD Soundsystem
First Album Alphabetically: Abode Of The Dead, Black Cobra
Last Album Alphabetically: Z, My Morning Jacket
First Band Alphabetically: Against Me
Last Band Alphabetically: Yo La Tengo
First Ten Songs That Pop Up On Shuffle:
“Territorial Pissings (Live From The Reading Festival),” Nirvana
“Selfless, Cold And Composed,” Ben Folds Five
“The Rain Song,” Led Zeppelin
“Fade To Black,” Metallica
“Rattled,” Traveling Wilburys
“Love U Til I Don’t,” The Wildhearts
“Peel Out,” Meat Loaf
“Vegetable,” Radiohead
“Wastin’ My Time,” Eagles Of Death Metal
“Frank’s Wild Years,” Tom Waits
Play
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Since there’s no new “30 Rock” this week, I hope this scene, featuring one of Alec Baldwin’s greatest screen performances, satiates everyone’s Jack Donaghy fix.
(NSFW, by the way. It’s strange to remember just how cheesy Alec Baldwin was at one point, a point not all that long ago.)
“We’re in the process of adopting an AIDS orphan from Ethiopia. Maybe two. I’m so pumped. I’d adopt six if I could. When I was five years old-I grew up in a very rural town in Missouri, and I had never even seen a black person-they asked us to draw a picture of ourselves in the future, and I drew myself holding hands with a line of tiny black stick figures. I’ve always wanted this.”
—Cole Hamels’ wife — who was on “Survivor,” apparently — on adopting orphans with AIDS from Ethiopia. I’m not sure I can beat Daulerio’s “I believe ‘Tiny Black Stick Figure Family Appreciation Night’ at Citizens Bank Park is actually something the Phillies’ PR team is trying to pull together for the 2009 season” line.
Thought: A-Rod might have been turned orange by the Sheinhardt Wig Company.
“
Bat Out Of Hell wasn’t just a stupid joke, but it did have a sense of humor, as writer Jim Steinman kept insisting to interviewers throughout 1978: “It’s essentially sarcastic.”
If that sarcasm were meant to explain the LP’s overkill, Bat Out of Hell would be a little less weird and a lot less interesting, but the jokes in Bat are just one more ingredient in the smorgasbord. Tellingly, however, what Steinman calls sarcasm never seems to function as a knowing wink — it’s more like the defense mechanism of a kid eager to sound worldlier than he really is, someone who’s simultaneously desperate for and terrified of the sex he’s heard about but hasn’t yet experienced. It’s no accident that, in Bat, making out in your car is more gross and painful and tragic than being mangled while crashing it (or that both events seem to go on forever once they start, which they never do, because it all only ever happens in your head).
” —My friend Tim is on an Experience Music Project panel this April about albums that influenced people’s thoughts on love and sex. His is about George Michael’s “Father Figure” (!!!!), but I’m more drawn to Tim Quirk’s irresistible explanation for my high school obsession with “Bat Out Of Hell.” Boy, does that explain a lot.