Email Dated June 15, 2010
Sir — So I saw your Twitter post, the one that said “deadspin dudes new book sux balls he can blow me.” You make it sound in your Tweet that your review is somehow a sane and fair assessment; surely, you’re aware you’re a child molester, right? Only a child molester would write something like that. Or an Albino. I bet you’re an Albino. I bet you look like...
I’m an Internet freak and I go on all the draft boards, and nobody’s...– Pittsburgh power forward DeJuan Blair, two months ago, when he announced he was leaving school for the NBA. He was selected in the second round of the Draft last night and responded by pouring out a 40 for Jeff Goldblum.
I didn’t have a stop watch, but it seemed to me the elephantine action...– Roger Ebert on Transformers 2. Also, I’ve enjoyed Brothers Bloom and Brick director Rian Johnson’s Twitter, in which he defines Michael Bay’s creative process as, “clarified by describing any scene from the film then putting the words “and shit” at the end of...
My favorite part of President Obama’s press conference yesterday was when he answered one of Chuck Todd’s pesky questions with, “I know everybody here is on a 24-hour news cycle. I’m not.” I am totally using this in all my interactions: A vague, general, perhaps bullshit yet still portentous and wise sense that you are the only person in the room, or even the planet,...
There are two robots in the film called Mudflap and Skids, and despite being red...– Yeah, I think I’m gonna just sit the Transformers movie out, thank you.
He could do a bit more reporting in his columns, he could actually TALK to...– I do try to take the high road when Buzz pulls this every few months or so … but it’s not always easy. (related)
Lange was the ideal foil to all this, and I suspect that’s why he — along...– Tommy Craggs shoots Joe Buck right in the brain.
With mental patients in an institution, they give them basket weaving, finger...– Woody Allen, on why he never stops making movies.
I’m surprised that anybody comes here,” said 27-year-old Lt. Travis Klempan of...– Stephen Colbert entertains the troops while wearing a camouflage suit and declaring himself “the only person man enough to finally declare victory in Iraq.” Pretty awesome that Colbert’s out there, but hey, Lt. Klempan … cut Dennis Haysbert some slack!
On Thursday, at the clubhouse table where McLouth used to play cards with...– It is possible that his old Pirates teammates are overreacting to the trade of Nate McLouth, just a bit.
Anthony La Russa, manager of the St. Louis Cardinals, sued Twitter after an...– Did you know that Cardinals manager Tony La Russa is suing Twitter? Well, he is. The offending “parody” site impersonating La Russa listed his location as “tossing Pujols’ salad” and La Russa’s home page as “madd.org.”